User:TheLick/Main Page

The content-free encyclopedia anyone can edit
37,697 articles in English

Today's featured article

Hey kid! Come on over here. I wanna tell you a story.

No, don't you keep walking. Get over here. Your mommy's gonna be a while in there, I can tell. I saw what she had for lunch.

Don't worry, you can trust me. I got a nice honest face, don't I?

Oh, I just want to tell you about what I sacrificed for your freedom.

You see, son, I come from harder times. Back in the day, Uncle Sam could send you where ever he wanted whenever he wanted. And that's what he done to me. I went to go fight for my country without complaint. Lost both my legs over in 'Nam. Then they spit me right out on the streets right out of the hospital and I had no money. I didn't get no medals. I didn't get no "thank you." I didn't get SHIT. (Full article...)

Recently featured:

Archive · Vote for featured articles · Purge

Did you know?

... that What's-his-name off that thing (Pictured) was in that film with that other dude?

... that Mercury is not a miracle substance and does not cure aids?
... that nobody can describe what a simile is like?
... that the lawman/outlaw Wild Bill Hickok had one of the most celebrated mustaches in the Wild West?
... that spambots suffer from constant self-doubt and low self esteem? They have feelings too you know.
... that while most Popes don't shit in the woods, sometimes bears are Catholic?
... that Martin Van Buren is a total dick and nobody likes him?
... that Michael Jackson should have had more apples to keep his doctor away?

Archive · Suggest new entries

In the news

Donald Trump is the first convicted President of the United States

Donald Trump found GUILTY on all 34 charges in Stormy Daniels hush money case (Pictured)
Michael Jackson comes back to life
Justin Bieber gives birth to a baby, baby, baby, oooh
Switzerland wins Eurovision
- Netherlands disqualified in final shocker
YouTube is dead
D.C. stink-bombed by Jihadists and Nazis
Colombia Protests Exclusion from Eurovision; Britney Joins in Support
Ship captain who wrecked Baltimore bridge defeated by Upstate New York bridge
NFL imposes speed limit and bans trick plays
Forecast calls for a leapin' Lousy Smarch weather
Larry David gets Hinkled by Anti-Israel Protesters
Taylor Swift's favorite NFL team wins rigged Super Bowl, big whoop
Elon Musk plants brain chip into first human guinea pig
Climate activists ruin Jackson Pollock painting, no one notices
Stalemate in Ukraine: Zelenskyy flees for greener pastures
Steamboat Willie enters public domain, several Mickey Mouse horror films and games announced
Santa's Elves on strike
UnNews finally able to write obituaries for Shaft, Bull and Chandler

Ongoing: Russian Invasion · Drake-Kendrick Lamar feud · Israel-Hamas conflict
Recent deaths: Roger Corman · Drake's "whole mans career" · Dabney Coleman · Kabosu · Richard M. Sherman (Disney musician) · Doug Ingle · Bill Walton
Upcoming deaths: Kris Kristofferson · Jimmy Carter · Vladimir Putin · Richard Simmons · Kate Middleton · Market demand for Tesla cars · Drake's sanity

UnNews Main · Archive

On this day

May 31: "Stop the Devil's Handshakes with a Bowlful of Cornflakes" Day

1584 - Martin Frobisher sails from England to Frobisher Bay, Canada. He is stunned to find somewhere he's never been named after himself.
1830 - The first cigarettes are introduced and are approved by the Surgeon General as a treatment for pink lung disease.
1884 - John Harvey Kellogg, after seeing a field of corn covered in flakes of snow, patents yogurt enemas and pornflakes. (Pictured)
1924 - The Soviet Union signs an agreement with the Chinese government, designating Outer Mongolia as One of the funniest place-names in the world.
1945 - Babe Ruth, in the heat of the game, kills the umpire, and is given a stern warning.
1961 - Scientists release research confirming anchovies are more at home in tomato sauce than water.
1974 - Syria and Israel sign an accord to resolve the hostilities over who gets first dibs on "Kojak" re-runs.

Archive · View today · View tomorrow

Picture of the day

Ah, a nice cold Guinness, I-- ...What the??? Damn you, you Krauts!

Image credit: Jocke Pirat
View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images

Other areas of Uncyclopedia

How to be funny and not just stupid – for help with that comedy thing
Policies and guidelines – for the boring rules no one follows
Formatting – for help on editing
Requested articles – for inspiration, or lack thereof
Village Dump – to throw angry invectives at other users
Community portal – for general community shenanigans

Sister projects

Uncyclopedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects as well as some foreign language Uncyclopedias and Illogicopedia.

UnNews
News on crack
Uncyclopedia
The content-free encyclopedia
Undictionary
Best left unsaid
UnTunes
Noisy things
UnGames
Ways to waste away
HowTo
Like Ikea without the pictures
UnBooks
Content-free books
Unquotable
Useless misquotes
Uncycloversity
No student loans
UnPoetia
Dreams deferred
UnDebate
Debate the irrelevant
UnScripts
We ruin stage too
Why?
Because
UnReviews
Hack frauds
UnVoyage
Armchair travel
Uncyclomedia
The Foundation

Foreign languages

This Uncyclopedia is written in English, supposedly. Started in 2005, it currently contains 37,697 articles. Many other parody wikis are available; some of the lamest are listed below.