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This article is part of the You have two cows series.


Uncyclopedia

Oscar Wilde has your two cows.

Lady Bracknell

To have one cow is fortunate, to have two is downright careful.

Samuel L. Jackson

You have two cows. You have HAD it with those motherfucking cows on this motherfucking field.

Horatio Nelson

Thank God, I have two cows.

Gilles Deleuze

There's no need to fear or hope, but only to look for two cows.

Martin Luther King Jr.

I have a dream, where all bovine species shall be treated with equal respect. I have a dream where the sons of steers and the sons of branders can sit down at the table of harmoony together, I have a dream today!

John Madden

Now what you got here are two cows. One, Two. Which are great cows playing a great game. You could find some cows on the street, and they'd probably play a good game; but what you got here are great cows playing a great game.

Captain Sarcasm

No! You definitely have two cows.

Muhammad Ali

Float like a cow, sting like the other cow.

Neil Armstrong

That's one.....small step for...man. One...giant leap...for...two cows.

Jimmy Sixsmith

I am not a number. I am two cows!

George Washington

I can not tell a lie, I have two cows.

Lewis Carroll

"Twas brillig, and the slithy cows did gyre and gimble in the wabe..."

Captain Oblivious

You have two cows?!?!?!

Winston Churchill

Never, in the field of buttercups and daisies, was so much owed to two cows by so many.

Bill Clinton

I never had sexual relations with those two cows. Just one.

William Wordsworth

I wandered lonely as two cows.

Kurt Cobain, after Neil Young

It's better to burn out than to have two cows.

Matthew Bellamy

We must fight for our cows.

Ellen Feiss

And it was like "beep beep beep beep", and then, like, half of my cows were gone. And I was like, "eh?"

Attorney

Could you please read line 13 of your statement to the court, starting with "I" and ending with "cows"?

I have two cows.

Mohandes K. Gandhi

You have to be the Cows you want to see in the world.

Mohandes K. Gandhi 2

An eye for an eye makes the whole cow blind.

Herbert Hoover

A chicken in every pot and two cows in every stable.

Martin Luther King Jr.

I have a dream, where white cows play with brown cows.

Ozzy Osbourne

idontfuckinknonuffinaboutnofuckincowsSHARON!

Techno Man

Two cows are better than one

George W Bush

The two cows continue to improve daily.

George W Bush 2

Rarely is the question asked, is our two cows learning?

Dan Quayle

Cows, K-A-W-E-S, Cows.

The Elephant Man

I am not an animal! I am two cows!

Bill S. Preston Esquire and Ted Theodore Logan

You have two cows? Excelent!

Teddy Kennedy

So these two cows were standing on the bridge, and I swerved just in time - Yeah, that's the ticket.

Donald Rumsfeld

There are many different ways to look at the cow situation, and yes, one is from a numerical perspective. Do we have two cows? Yes. Do we want more cows? Absolutely! Can we afford more cows? Well, that's debatable. But the fact remains, you go to war with the cows you have, not the cows you want to have.

Bill S Shakespeare, Esq

Two sheep! Perchance two cows.

Walter Ulbricht

Niemand hat die Absicht, zwei Kühe zu errichten

Jean-Jacques Rousseau

La vache est née libre, et partout elle est dans les fers.

Bart Simpson

Don't have two cows man!

Bart Simpson

Aye cowrumba!

John McCain

I'm a mooverick.

Timmy

TIMMAY!

Mr. T

I pity the moo who doesn't have his calcium.

Steve Ballmer

I'm going to fucking kill two cows.

Steve Ballmer 2

Cows! Cows! Cows! Cows! Cows! Cows! Cows! Cows! Cows! Cows!

Oscar Wilde

America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without two cows in between.

Takashi Miike

You could spend all your money...in two cows.

Kaz

Your two cows will retail for 599 USD.

Rick James

You have two cows, bitch.

Captain Obvious

If you're reading this now, you musn't have much of a sex life, isn't it?

Kayix

I HAVE FOUR COWS. Therefore, I broke the continuum! Yay!

Bill O'Reilly

There's no cows here! WE'LL DO IT LIVE!

Cookie Monster

Me know what go well with two cows' milk: COOKIE! OMNOMNOMNOMNOM!

Kanye West

Yo farmer, I'm happy for you, and I'mma let you finish, but Beyonce had two of the greatest cows of all time! Of all time! shrugs shoulders nonchalantly and hands microphone back to the farmer

4.252.99.182

go eat steak fuckers

Uncyclopedia is the worst

To everyone who will listen to me, please do not go here, because your two cows are the worst! None of their dairy products are ever good after the first milking. They are total pieces of junk. Junky junky junk. BOTH OF THEM!!!!!!!

Barack Obama

You have two cows named Hope and Change. Their milk, which you expected to taste good, doesn't taste like anything.

Rudy Giuliani

Two cows 9/11.

Sarah Palin

I can see two cows from my house.

Lewis Black

When I was growing up, there were two types of milk: moo cow fuck milk, and sometimes chocolate moo cow fuck milk.

Ollie Williams

I SAW TWO COWS!

Gandalf the White

All our hopes now lie with two cows, somewhere in the wilderness

Barry Goldwater

A government big enough to give you the two cows you want is big enough to take the two cows you have.

Martin Luther

All who call on two cows in true faith, earnestly from the heart, will certainly be heard, and will receive what they have asked and desired.

B C Forbes

He who has two cows has... an inward reservoir of courage, hope, confidence, calmness, milk and assuring trust that all will come out well - even though to the world it may appear to come out most badly.

Oliver Twist

May I have some more cows?

Uncyclopedia presents: the You have two cows anthology!

Twocows.jpg

1. Analysis
2. Anime
3. Bovine Quotes
4. Cowmedy
5. Emootions
6. Endings
7. Famous Cows
8. Groups

9. This cow does not exist
10. In the Moos
11. Language of Cows
12. Literature
13. Moosical Moovements
14. Moovies
15. Non-Video Games
16. People

17. Politicowl Junk
18. Programming Languages
19. Religion
20. Software 'n Such
21. Sound of Moo-sic
22. Television
23. Travel
24. Video Games

24.2. Video Games Volume 2
24.3. Video Games Volume 3
25. World and Web of Cows
26. You Have n Cows
27. Science
28. Moodicine
29. Game Consoles
30. Game Genres

31. Capitalism

“Yuoo Hefe-a tvu coos. Bork Bork Bork!”

~ Swedish Chef on You have two cows