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Mexico is a Latin American country that pairs total social dysfunction with a population that never asks why nothing works but patiently waits for things to be different later.
Mexico is bordered to the north by the United States, though the border is vague and moving further north; and to the south by several even scarier places such as El Humidor, with which the border doesn't matter. Mexico comprises 21 states, two territories aptly referred to as "Taco.C.", and three districts: a Federal District that is like Washington, D.C. but even smoggier, and the districts of Cancún and Acapulco, except that they are districts of the United States.
Mexico was originally populated by a special breed of human beings, namely the Aztecs and Mayans. They perfected the ritual killing of youngsters, long before the invention of the automobile, and predicted that the world would end soon. They were conquered by the Spaniards, who preached that the world would never end. In 1821 Mexico declared its independence, and modern Mexicans wonder why it is taking so long for the world to end.
Among American Presidents, Barack Obama surely thought he was in Mexico when he promised Americans that things would be different if they would only "hope" for "change". And, ¡ay, Chihuahua! he got away with it. And George W. Bush surely meant Mexico when he referred to the people who "are only doing the jobs that Americans won't do (at least, at the shabby wages we want to pay them)". These jobs include serving spicy meals that induce pain the next day, blowing off court dates, and making snap decisions to leave the expressway despite cruising in the fast lane. (Full article...)
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Did you know...
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- ... that the bird is the word? (Pictured)
- ... that Bruce Lee could juggle two balls with his penis?
- ... that Calvin and Hobbes was an action-packed buddy comedy series that ran from 1542-1549, featuring philosophers John Calvin and Thomas Hobbes as themselves?
- ... that neither cows nor foxes can run for governor in Wisconsin?
- ... that you have schizophrenia and we're talking about you right now?
- ... that abstinence is only 99.999% effective?
- ... that two wrongs don't make a right, but two Wrights make an airplane?
- ... that spambots suffer from constant self-doubt and low self esteem? They have feelings too you know.
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In the news
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Donald Trump is the first convicted President of the United States
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On this day
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