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Today's thing that needs to suffer Asperger Syndrome (pronounced ASS-burger SIN-drome) is a semi-voluntary behavioural disorder in the guise of a more serious and involuntary neurodevelopmental disability. Statistically it affects an undue number of radio talk show hosts and Hollywood actors, though it has yet to be determined whether the behavior guides ultimate vocation, or whether the condition results from prolonged exposure to ego-stroking. Some theorists believe that the entire Japanese people suffer from Asperger's Syndrome because of their tendency to stay emotionally detached in all situations except seppuku. (more...) Aspies should all know... *... that a rose by any other name would be called something else? *... that torture is better to give than to receive? ... that a rose by any other name would be called something else? *... that torture is better to give than to receive? ... that a rose by any other name would be called something else?	News to whine about Doug Ingle 1945-2024 Michael Jackson comes back to life Justin Bieber gives birth to a baby, baby, baby, oooh Switzerland wins Eurovision Netherlands disqualified in final shocker YouTube is dead D.C. stink-bombed by Jihadists and Nazis Colombia Protests Exclusion from Eurovision; Britney Joins in Support Ship captain who wrecked Baltimore bridge defeated by Upstate New York bridge NFL imposes speed limit and bans trick plays Forecast calls for a leapin' Lousy Smarch weather Larry David gets Hinkled by Anti-Israel Protesters Taylor Swift's favorite NFL team wins rigged Super Bowl, big whoop Elon Musk plants brain chip into first human guinea pig Climate activists ruin Jackson Pollock painting, no one notices Stalemate in Ukraine: Zelenskyy flees for greener pastures Steamboat Willie enters public domain, several Mickey Mouse horror films and games announced Santa's Elves on strike UnNews finally able to write obituaries for Shaft, Bull and Chandler Ongoing: Russian Invasion · Drake-Kendrick Lamar feud · Israel-Hamas conflict Recent deaths: Roger Corman · Drake's "whole mans career" · Dabney Coleman · Kabosu · Richard M. Sherman (Disney musician) · Doug Ingle · Bill Walton Upcoming deaths: Kris Kristofferson · Jimmy Carter · Vladimir Putin · Richard Simmons · Kate Middleton · Market demand for Tesla cars · Drake's sanity On this day... May 29: No Anniversary Day (U.S.) 1789 - Thomas Jefferson (Pictured) creates the "No Anniversary Day", in order to let people rest from Anniversaries at least one day in the year. 1790 - Some people decide to celebrate "No Anniversary Day" anyway, to Jefferson's unending disappointment. 1848 - Wisconsin bribes President James K. Polk with a big block of cheese to lower the sales tax on cow feed. 1932 - Unemployed veterans of World War I march on Washington, DC demanding owed money, Government agrees to give out payment as soon as World War II ends. 1989 - The Prime Minister of Iceland, on advice from his six-year old son, bans applesauce in the country, sparking a major riot. 2004 - The National World War II Memorial in Washington D.C. is converted into a commemorative waterpark: "They died, so you could wade." 2010 - The WNBA declares their way of playing the sport is about the fundamentals, rather than the skill.
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