Today's featured article
Here at Uncyclopedia, we do not wish to promote the practise of driving above the designated speed limit. This of course is highly dangerous: as every good driver knows, once a car exceeds 65mph, the speed barrier is broken, causing the vehicle to explode in a fit of spontaneous combustion. However, because traffic cops are such tightwads, they are constantly on the lookout for innocent motorists who serve as potential 'speeders'. Although these motorists may be travelling at a completely reasonable speed (130mph), the typical police officer is required to pull over and fine at least fifty motorists per day in order to rake in their "quota" --- i.e., the obligatory total of drug/beer/doughnut/prostitute money the police force needs to amass in order to keep themselves adequately happy and stay in business. This, as one can imagine, is quite a hefty sum, so it is unsurprising to be pulled over by a policeman at regular intervals.
That's why we have put together this handy guide to beat the feds and avoid receiving those irritating speeding tickets and fines. Plus! Now thickhead intercontinentally friendly! (Full article...)
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Selected anniversaries
May 17: Day of the Exhausted Dog
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Word of the day
pwn
Try to use it in conversation.
Knowledge is power.
In the news
More Current Events at UnNews News
Did you know...
- ... that Bill Cowher isn't actually that fireman that saved you, ma'am?
- ... that I don't like them putting chemicals in the water that turn the frickin' frogs gay?
Do you care...
- ... that Peyton Manning knows Terrell Owens is the REAL reason he's not playing Today?
- ... that not all πr². There are also many π that r rounded?
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Quarterback of the Month and Waterboy of the Month
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David Gerard. What needs to be said about this extraordinary person? He lived life to the fullest. He scaled Everest and swam the Marianas. He piloted a kayak through the rivers of the Yukon with naught but a broken compass to guide him. Now he sits in a nursing home: Alzheimer's has rotted his brain to such an extent that he no longer recognizes himself as the WotM-winning author of Voice Chat, Fountainhead Earth and X Window System.
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If a picture is worth a thousand words, those on Noob of the Month MoneySign's image gallery are good for an average of at least 940 words apiece (he loses points because his Taste picture offends the Greeks). Classic Money highlights include Hazard Dogs and the tuberiffic logo for UnNews, which MS constructed entirely out of string, spittle and beer can tabs.
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Congratulations to Rcmurphy, this year's Most Valuable Player!
Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Past Winners: 2005/2006
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| This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 37,686 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages, including Pig Latin!
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