Portal:Technology
 Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Technology portal Code Monkey's favorite page for computing, gadgets and machinations.
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| Basic cutaway of a dryer. |
The dryer is one of the greatest contributions to the field of experimental physics since the Giant Hadron Collider. The dryer is the only piece of manmade technology currently that can produce an artificial wormhole and cause quantum entanglement. As of the late 1900's the dryer was responsible for more than one billion lost socks most of which belonged to the left foot. A lampshade somehow contributed to this pandemic.
Research (How it Works)
Scientists studied this phenomenon very closely for long periods of time and were unable to observe any type of quantum entanglement/vortex formation. Since lab tests continued to yield unsuccessful results they decided to create the laundromat where many dryers were clumped together alongside washers in the hopes that some type of quantum phenomena would take place. It is there that they learned that for a wormhole to form and for quantum entanglement to occur, the objects placed inside the dryer must first be de-atomized by a washing machine.
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It's better than a frozen DOS prompt.
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Did You Know...
Quote of the Day
“I do not fear computers. I fear online chatrooms.”
Highlighted Biography
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| Steve and Steve peddling their wares. |
Stephen Gary Bozniak Wozniak, known as the "Wizard of Woz", is a magical garden gnome with curiously large nostrils who, along with Steve Jobs, is credited with creating the first personal computer, although his expertise really lies in the art of carpet sculpting.
Early Life
Steve Wozniak was born to a family of Keebler Elves, but he hated cookies and biscuit crackers because of his diabetes. Although it was short-lived, in his early teenage years he was inspired to run away from home after watching the movie Pinocchio, but his family eventually convinced him to stay home and pursue his interest in puppets and animatronics through education. After high school, he enrolled in Wyotech vocational school, but later dropped out to follow the Grateful Dead as a Jerry Garcia look-alike.…
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Technology Spotlight
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| The user-friendly touch-screen interface... |
The Poopenheimer Mainframe Mk XII Computer is known as the first ever computer on earth. Legend has it that Julius Caesar and his friend Brutus dropped out of Rome University about 90 BC to pursue their dream of becoming icons in the technology industry. They worked and they worked, meeting many failures. The Poopenheimer Mainframe Mk versions I, II, III, IV, V, VI, VII, VIII, VIV, X, and XI all had major flaws. However, they believed they had a breakthrough with XII.
Inspiration Strikes
One day, while working in their dark downtown Rome apartment, Caesar had a sudden idea.
"Great Brutus, shall we instead of basing our code on the Socratic Method/base it on that which hath preceded: the Altair 8800!"
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