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As it happens, a Main Page is a page of primarity, popularity and urination-arity Today's featured paragraph Recently featured: UnNews:Colombia Protests Exclusion from Eurovision; USA Joins in Support User:Y UnScripts:Quentin Tarantino's Teletubbies Pikmin Archive – Vote for featured articles You know you're WTF when... Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 380,007 total flamewars purged. Advertising Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 380,007 total flamewars purged. Advertising Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 380,007 total flamewars purged. Advertising Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 380,007 total flamewars purged. Advertising Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 380,007 total flamewars purged. Advertising Did you know... *... that bipolar bears are not to be messed with, more-so than polar bears? ... that Heaven has met its quota, and your dead granny has just been waitlisted? ... that bipolar bears are not to be messed with, more-so than polar bears? ... that Heaven has met its quota, and your dead granny has just been waitlisted? ... that bipolar bears are not to be messed with, more-so than polar bears? ... that Heaven has met its quota, and your dead granny has just been waitlisted? ... that bipolar bears are not to be messed with, more-so than polar bears?	In the news Switzerland wins Eurovision Netherlands disqualified in final shocker YouTube is dead D.C. stink-bombed by Jihadists and Nazis Colombia Protests Exclusion from Eurovision; Britney Joins in Support (Pictured) Ship captain who wrecked Baltimore bridge defeated by Upstate New York bridge NFL imposes speed limit and bans trick plays Forecast calls for a leapin' Lousy Smarch weather Larry David gets Hinkled by Anti-Israel Protesters Taylor Swift's favorite NFL team wins rigged Super Bowl, big whoop Elon Musk plants brain chip into first human guinea pig Climate activists ruin Jackson Pollock painting, no one notices Stalemate in Ukraine: Zelenskyy flees for greener pastures Steamboat Willie enters public domain, several Mickey Mouse horror films and games announced Santa's Elves on strike UnNews finally able to write obituaries for Shaft, Bull and Chandler Will Barbenheimer beat JigSaw in his own game? Ongoing: Russian Invasion · Eurovision Recent deaths: O. J. Simpson · Bernard Hill · Nemo's first trophy · Roger Corman · Chrissie from Jaws · Drake's "whole mans career" Upcoming deaths: Kris Kristofferson · Jimmy Carter · Vladimir Putin · The U.S. Federal Budget · Richard Simmons · Kate Middleton · Market demand for Tesla cars · "New York Knicks suck" jokes (watch this jinx them lol) On this day... May 17: Day of the Exhausted Dog 1458 - Pope Pius II declares that Spain does not exist. 1397 - The Vikings commit their most heinous crime by founding Sweden. 1865 - Abraham Lincoln turns down tickets to the Ice Capades in order to see a play 1975 - The split infinitive is invented. In protest, grammarians sets themselves on fire. NYT obit: "They died as they lived, prepared to selflessly martyr themselves for what they believed in." 1914 - Stand-up British gents die jolly-good deaths in World War I. 1982 - Pope John Paul II readmits Spain to existence, apologizes for his forepope's bigotry. 2009 - Minecraft is created by Sir Notch VII. 2012 - The word lol is finally added to the Oxford dictionary, despite numerous protests from stuffy prescriptivists like Stephen Fry.
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Writer and Noob of the Month Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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