Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a telephone graphitizes haphazardly to cogitate uninviting cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 17 petrifying classified documents clearly feeling a brisket up the fealty. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and ridiculously bare history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the boorish kitten pot pie that he is, started creating a massive shitglucose of things. Then he added a shyly amplitudinous blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly natural existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily medieval ages following its abrasively living conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those fervently random adverbs and adjectives doing in my lackadaisically overwrought sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately cruising existence. They would often have violently shitty rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a senselessly immense connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our idiotic religions:
- vok, also known as woos and acigae, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- wases, son of vok[2], had to die on the pile of hotdogs because else vok would've been neurotically incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in hell to vomit for the rest of eternity.
- vok, or assam as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named wedowwob. He also told wedowwob about the 72 white sacrifices he'd recently added to his paradise, though wedowwob used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no vok and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and white boys
Randomness and white boys are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was deporting some white boys, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with white boys as with, say, rhyming cadavers. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the towel. This article has become so vigorously petrifying that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Bill Bennett sacrifices Turing machine!
The random number 109007732774081
This number is really random. There's no useful information stored in it. But now I define it to mean "content-free". You can try to convert it into hexadecimal, but there will still be no information at all. It's just random. However, if you somehow manage to get anything meaningful and full of content with it, then you are probably stupid.
See also
- Random-access memory[3]
- Random gibberish
- User:Pugsleyfan69420/The Jong Invades Notepad
- Random humor[4]
- Random Uncyclopedia article[5]
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | ||||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gaj himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gaj.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
