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37,686 governments to overthrow
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Today's featured propaganda
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Here at Uncyclopedia, we do not wish to promote the practise of driving above the designated speed limit. This of course is highly dangerous: as every good driver knows, once a car exceeds 65mph, the speed barrier is broken, causing the vehicle to explode in a fit of spontaneous combustion. However, because traffic cops are such tightwads, they are constantly on the lookout for innocent motorists who serve as potential 'speeders'. Although these motorists may be travelling at a completely reasonable speed (130mph), the typical police officer is required to pull over and fine at least fifty motorists per day in order to rake in their "quota" --- i.e., the obligatory total of drug/beer/doughnut/prostitute money the police force needs to amass in order to keep themselves adequately happy and stay in business. This, as one can imagine, is quite a hefty sum, so it is unsurprising to be pulled over by a policeman at regular intervals.
That's why we have put together this handy guide to beat the feds and avoid receiving those irritating speeding tickets and fines. Plus! Now thickhead intercontinentally friendly! (Full article...)
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Did you know...
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*... that in 2001 George W. Bush passed the No Child Left Behind Act, which forbids soldiers in Iraq from leaving their children behind?
- ... that in 2001 George W. Bush passed the No Child Left Behind Act, which forbids soldiers in Iraq from leaving their children behind?
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To whom it may concern: I am writing to you today regarding Mr. Nydas, who I understand is applying for a position at your institution. Mr. Nydas is one of the most inspiring students I have ever had the p LOLOLOLOL PENNIS THE MENACE IS MY FAVORITE ACTION FIGURE SHITTY SHITTY BANG BANG LOL LOL WHOAAAAA THEEEEESE IZ KOOL, Y'ALLS leasure to instruct; though deaf, blind, mute and crippled from birth, he has managed to overcome his circumstances and express himself eloquently through his writing. His essays and stories are for him an adventure, an escape from the terribly unfortunate and hopeless reality of his life. Though he knows he is unlikely to survive the next four years, he remains irrepressibly cheerful and determined to become a famous author of children's books. You and I know this will never happen, but when he turns to you with his empty eyes, his face tragically wasted by leprosy, one cannot but root for him in his battle with the cruel, cruel world.
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