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You have two cows is the ultimate philosophical truth. All categories except Category Nine (How mooriginal) may contain contributions from the Internet as well as Uncyclopedians. Mathematical proof that you have two cows lies in moometric identity:

$Moo\cdot \left(\sin \left(Cow_{A}\right)+\cos \left(Cow_{B}\right)\right)\,\!=2\cdot {Cows}$

This mathematical proof can also be written with the second moometric identity:

$\log _{moo}{\left(Cow_{A}\right)}+\log _{moo}{\left(Cow_{B}\right)}\,\!=\log _{\left(2\,Cow\right)}{\left(Moo\right)}$

Where Moo is the universal moometric constant.

A longstanding tradition of mathematics is discovering new truths pertaining to two-cow ownership. Currently, ~~45,893~~ ~~45,894~~ ~~45,895~~ ~~45,896~~ ~~45,897~~ ~~45,898~~ ~~45,899~~ 45,900 are known. (Full article...)

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Did you know?

... that Japanese ninjas are among those who have tried to find a way to get across the Great Wall of China? (Pictured)

... Nautical knots are not knots that can be knotted into knots (most likely not)?
... that torture is better to give than to receive?
... that NASA will one day send sharks to space?
... that the process of dying and coming back to life as a cow is known as reincownation?
... that every time you shoot yourself in the head, someone somewhere in the world dies?
... that I don't like them putting chemicals in the water that turn the frickin' frogs gay?
... that the butler did it?

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On this day

June 9: Moose Conservation Day (Canada)

1920 - First solar-powered air balloon launched at night.
1926 - First refrigerator invented, used to kill people slowly and coldly, scientists decide it is better to use a refrigerator to keep food cold instead.
1940 - The team of scientists at Los Alamos construct the world's first nuclear weapons after the US government's promise to only use them for peaceful nuclear bombings.
1969 - Sex is created, scientists do not think it will be a big hit.
1988 - The VHS video entitled Steal This Movie becomes the world's most widely stolen merchandise. Politicians baffled.
1993 - The case of Pot v. Kettle goes to the Supreme Court.
2003 - Open-Heart Surgery for Dummies notches its record breaking 500th lawsuit.
2005 - On this Moose Conservation Day, nothing moose-related is mentioned.

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