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Today's featured article From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia The Committee to End Pay Toilets in America was a grass-roots political organization which was (apparently) the sole driving force behind the ban of pay toilets in many American cities and states. Founded in 1970 by then-nineteen year old Ira Gessel, the Committee's purpose was to "eliminate pay toilets in the U.S. through legislation and public pressure." “When a man's or woman's natural body functions are restricted because he or she doesn't have a piece of change, there is no true freedom.” ~ Ira Gessel (More...) Did you know... *... that rounding up sheep is easiest to the nearest ten? ... that 98% of Americans have no idea what they would do in a hypothetical situation? ... that the national pastime of Palestine is Stone the Israeli Tank? ... that if I had to describe myself in three words, I would say "not very good at maths"? ... that spambots suffer from constant self-doubt and low self esteem? They have feelings too you know. ... that the French Revolution was just a rip-off of the American Revolution? In the news Donald Trump is the first convicted President of the United States The Kremlin: Vladimir Putin "totally didn't participate in a Pride parade, nothing to see here.." Donald Trump found GUILTY ON ALL CHARGES (Pictured), soon to debut "prison orange" business suit Antarctica becomes embroiled in upside-down flag controversy Michael Jackson comes back to life Justin Bieber gives birth to a baby, baby, baby, oooh Switzerland wins Eurovision Netherlands disqualified in final shocker YouTube is dead D.C. stink-bombed by Jihadists and Nazis Colombia Protests Exclusion from Eurovision; Britney Joins in Support Ship captain who wrecked Baltimore bridge defeated by Upstate New York bridge NFL imposes speed limit and bans trick plays Forecast calls for a leapin' Lousy Smarch weather Larry David gets Hinkled by Anti-Israel Protesters Taylor Swift's favorite NFL team wins rigged Super Bowl, big whoop Elon Musk plants brain chip into first human guinea pig Ongoing: Russian Invasion · Drake-Kendrick Lamar feud · Israel-Hamas conflict Recent deaths: Roger Corman · Drake's "whole mans career" · Dabney Coleman · Kabosu · Richard M. Sherman (Disney musician) · Doug Ingle · Bill Walton Upcoming deaths: Kris Kristofferson · Jimmy Carter · Vladimir Putin · Richard Simmons · Kate Middleton · Market demand for Tesla cars · Drake's sanity On this day... June 8: Your Friends are Totally Trying to Kill You Day 1213 - The Vatican, under Pope Innocent III, creates purgatory. 1312 - King Edward II became the first man to successfully grow a goatee. (Pictured) 1798 - North Dakota moves from the south of South Dakota to the north of South Dakota, to better fit its name. 1861 - Tennessee secedes from the Union after being called a pussy by South Carolina. 1949 - Author George Orwell writes his seminal classic, Nineteen Eighty-Four, thirty-five years two early. 1977 - Kanye West drops a generation-defining EP minutes after being born. 2017 - You read this entry, but you wished you hadn't bothered. Colonization of the Week For the glory of her majesty Help us clear the ivy of crap, and plant the seeds of humour.