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Today's Featured Article Welcome to Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia that anyone can edit. 37,699 articles in English Politics Games Music Science History Art Television Film Theatre Society People All Beginner's Guide · The Big Five · Style · Questions · Help · Donations Categories · Featured content · A–Z index Recently featured: Newspeak - One Out of Ten Doctors - HowTo:Construct a Federation Starship - Grue's Clues - Baby Seal Yesterday's Featured Article Newspeak, Oceanian speak, oldspeak remade fullwise. Repeats unwords. Crimethink unwords. Ref 11th ed Newspeak dictionary. Miniplenty feeds Party, proles. Makes rations, bodywares. Makes plenty. Chocorat 20gm increased. Minipax keeps pax. Floating fortresses unsinkful. Minitrue rectifies malreports. Verifies Times. Miniluv crimestopper. Keeps goodthink. (more...) Did you know... *... that you have probably broken at least three of the Ten Commandments just by visiting this website? ... that the sky is up and the ground is down, except in Australia where the opposite is true? ... that you have probably broken at least three of the Ten Commandments just by visiting this website? ... that the sky is up and the ground is down, except in Australia where the opposite is true? ... that you have probably broken at least three of the Ten Commandments just by visiting this website?	In the news Donald Trump is the first convicted President of the United States Donald Trump found GUILTY ON ALL CHARGES (Pictured), soon to debut "prison orange" business suit Antarctica becomes embroiled in upside-down flag controversy Michael Jackson comes back to life Justin Bieber gives birth to a baby, baby, baby, oooh Switzerland wins Eurovision Netherlands disqualified in final shocker YouTube is dead D.C. stink-bombed by Jihadists and Nazis Colombia Protests Exclusion from Eurovision; Britney Joins in Support Ship captain who wrecked Baltimore bridge defeated by Upstate New York bridge NFL imposes speed limit and bans trick plays Forecast calls for a leapin' Lousy Smarch weather Larry David gets Hinkled by Anti-Israel Protesters Taylor Swift's favorite NFL team wins rigged Super Bowl, big whoop Elon Musk plants brain chip into first human guinea pig Ongoing: Russian Invasion · Drake-Kendrick Lamar feud · Israel-Hamas conflict Recent deaths: Roger Corman · Drake's "whole mans career" · Dabney Coleman · Kabosu · Richard M. Sherman (Disney musician) · Doug Ingle · Bill Walton Upcoming deaths: Kris Kristofferson · Jimmy Carter · Vladimir Putin · Richard Simmons · Kate Middleton · Market demand for Tesla cars · Drake's sanity On this day... June 2: Doris Day 455 - The Vandals plundered Rome, forcing the admins to revert to an earlier edit. 1774 - The Quartering Act, which allowed for people to be drawn and quartered, was reenacted by a small community theatre to poor reviews. 1800 - Napoleon Bonaparte of France crossing the alps while doing a sick wheelie on his Suzuki GSX-R 600. (Pictured) 1959 - The very first June bug was caught, but determined to be a mayfly that'd stumbled across the International Date Line. 1968 - Argentina reports the first case of human flu in birds. A cull of 20,000 humans is carried out. 1995 - Children are discovered in North Korea, dispelling rumors that North Koreans emerge fully grown from the maw of Kim Jong Il. 2001 - The first HAL9000 supercomputer was recalled by manufacturer IBM for sentience and latency issues. 2003 - The European Space Agency begins probing Mars. Europeans promise to colonize Mars, give Martian natives smallpox, and spur intergalactic wars of independence.
Today's featured picture Experts advise against chlorinating the jean pool, as it causes the dye to bleed, and acid-washed jeans haven't been cool since '86. Image credit: RadicalX View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images
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Writer and Noob of the Month Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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