Portal:Technology
 Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Technology portal Code Monkey's favorite page for computing, gadgets and machinations.
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Welcome to the Wife Operating System online handbook.
Currently we are experiencing technical difficulties (ie. the Boss is watching), our IT department will upload the manuals of Wife OS asap!!
Wife OS is an operating system.
Wife OS versions
Versions by date of install
- This can be checked by examining the signed "Marriage Certification" document. The version date will be listed as Marriage Date.
- pre- 1959 - Most durable versions. Capable of taking a lot of crap without need of reset. Also includes largest self-auto-fix-tools set (not included in later versions).
- 1960 - 1969 - Large degree of variability, highly dependent on Wife manufacturer as to which Wife OS was installed. (no manuals available, too many versions undocumented)
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Some toasters come with the ability to burn CD-R and DVD-R, connected by a lightning fast USB 2.0.
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Did You Know...
Quote of the Day
“Simplicity is often overrated when it comes to technology.”
Highlighted Biography
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| Steve and Steve peddling their wares. |
Stephen Gary Bozniak Wozniak, known as the "Wizard of Woz", is a magical garden gnome with curiously large nostrils who, along with Steve Jobs, is credited with creating the first personal computer, although his expertise really lies in the art of carpet sculpting.
Early Life
Steve Wozniak was born to a family of Keebler Elves, but he hated cookies and biscuit crackers because of his diabetes. Although it was short-lived, in his early teenage years he was inspired to run away from home after watching the movie Pinocchio, but his family eventually convinced him to stay home and pursue his interest in puppets and animatronics through education. After high school, he enrolled in Wyotech vocational school, but later dropped out to follow the Grateful Dead as a Jerry Garcia look-alike.…
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Technology Spotlight
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| Artist's depiction of a cookie clicker. |
A cookie clicker is a tool designed specifically in order to "click" cookies, punching holes into them. Cookie clickers, since their initial invention in the 1970s, have been used for a variety of purposes in the kitchen, including clicking cookies (their original purpose), making cucumber and steak skewers, and making ring-shaped dessert toppings.
A typical cookie clicker has a long lever which is used to push a bladed cylinder, the clicker, straight through cookies up to 1/2 an inch in thickness, and then through a close-fitting hole in the die. As the vertical travel distance of the cylinder is less than an inch, it can be positioned within about 1.2 inches of the lever fulcrum. For smaller cookie clickers, meant to slice through thinner, Subway-style cookies, the resulting lever need not be more than 3 inches for sufficient force.
The clicker's diameter generally varies between each clicker; a hole size of 1/4 inch allows for a a donut-shaped 3/4-to-1 inch cookie, whilst a 1/2 inch hole is generally favored for medium-sized cookies. Occasionally, a 1-inch hole is used for larger cookies and other foodstuffs (such as steak).
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